Being Obsessed Without Being a Jerk and Burning Out
Embracing Slow, Seasonal, Productive Obsession
As a young coach, I am pretty sure the general consensus on me was one of two things:
He’s awesome. I love him.
He’s too much. He’s a jerk.
I don’t think too many people thought I was just okay. Much of this was due to my immaturity as a coach and a man, but some of it was because I was utterly obsessed with coaching. If you loved the sport I was coaching and were looking for an obsessed coach, I was your guy. If you had little interest in being as obsessed as I was, I was not your guy, and we were going to butt heads.
As the years have flown by, there have been times when I have made the mistake of thinking my obsession was the problem and that I needed to find more balance in my life. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that true excellence requires obsession. The whole concept of work/life balance is a farce created by people who are too afraid to embrace their calling and be obsessed.
The goal is to learn to be obsessed without being a jerk or burning out!
That’s why I set a reminder on my phone several months ago that reads, “There is no balance. There are recipes that work.” This reminder pops up on my phone every five days as an encouragement to go big or go home in every endeavor in life. I’ve come to the conclusion that obsession is part of the recipe for going big and being excellent.
But is obsession the Biblical way to think about excellence? Are Christ's followers called to live a life of obsession?
Crafting a Lifestyle of Healthy Obsession
Cal Newport’s new book Slow Productivity has greatly influenced my thinking in this area. The same week I finished the book, I came across this thought-provoking article by Tim Denning (Warning: this article is rated TV-MA for language).
Ironically, I finished Slow Productivity while vacationing with family and living out the cover art.
At first glance, Newport’s book and Denning’s article appear at odds with one another. One could interpret Newport as saying, “Slow down. Stop being obsessed. Bring some balance to your life.” and interpret Denning as saying the exact opposite. “Forget slowing down. Get obsessed and work your tail off.”
However, a closer review reveals that the two authors highlight different aspects of being obsessed. Newport’s Slow Productivity isn’t a call to stop obsessing. Instead, it’s a call to design a lifestyle in which obsession can thrive. The main principles of Slow Productivity are:
Do less.
Work at a natural pace.
Obsess over quality.
Newport is laying out a three-step plan for Lifestyle Centric Planning for The Deep Life (a phrase he uses regularly on his podcast and has indicated will be part of the focus of his next book).
Denning’s article encourages his readers to embrace obsession and not be afraid to commit to projects fully.
Ultimately, it’s merely semantics. The two men are encouraging roughly the same perspective on work.
“It's tough to be good at something you're not interested in. It's nearly impossible to be great at something you're not obsessed with.” Shane Parrish
Seeing the blend of these men’s perspectives has dramatically impacted my thoughts on rejecting balance and embracing recipes that work. I wonder if the right recipe is as follows:
Equal parts of each ingredient:
Obsession
Doing less so you can be obsessed
Working at a natural obsessed pace
Obsessing over quality
Initially, I thought the best way to describe the obsession I am encouraging was Slow, Productive Obsession. However, as I’ve let the thought bake, I’ve realized we need another adjective: Seasonal.
I suppose seasonal productivity is embedded in Newport’s second principle: work at a natural pace. At the same time, most of us tend to associate being obsessed with all-out, endless amounts of effort. I propose that obsession flourishes, and you don’t end up being a jerk when it’s part of a recipe with a natural, seasonal pace.
Obsession becomes unhealthy when it lacks any sense of seasonality. Years, decades, and lifetimes have seasons. At the very least, obsession must break for things like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and the Fourth of July. If your obsession can’t take a break for those basic seasons of the year, you’re beyond obsession and proving to be a compulsive workaholic.
Ironically, I wrote that last paragraph while sitting poolside with my family at a small resort in Vail, Colorado, on the Fourth of July.
Hypocritical? Perhaps.
But writing this article, processing these thoughts, and forming complete ideas about cultivating a Christ-centered lifestyle is life-giving. It’s cathartic—almost leisure. I was happy to be interrupted by conversations or to stop and watch my nephews play in the water.
There were no deadlines, no phone calls to rob me of family time, no deadlines to meet, and, most importantly, no stress, just thinking and writing.
In other words, it was slow, seasonal, and productive.
Preventing Burnout with Slow, Seasonal, Productive Obsession
Slow, Seasonal, Productive Obsession (SSPO) also provides guard rails and structure that prevent burnout. One of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s and 30s was not only being obsessed without guard rails and structures but attempting to be obsessed with too many things. By the time I hit my late 30s and the COVID pandemic hit, I was in a constant state of near burnout and looking for ways to escape my obsessions.
The obsessions that had brought me so much joy for many years (primarily teaching and coaching) were now my life's primary source of stress. And much of it was my fault.
This is where Newport’s do less, and work at a natural pace would have helped me.
SSPO is Part of Cultivating a Christ-Centered Lifestyle
Assuming you’re obsessed with things God is calling you to, isn’t SSPO a great way to think about living for the good of others to the glory of God? Furthermore, doesn’t Slow, Productive Obsession sound like the natural overflow of a carefully cultivated, Christ-centered lifestyle?
Consider SSPO in light of the definition I use for being God’s cultivator:
Cultivator: An image-bearer who has been redeemed through faith alone in Christ alone, who is humbly and intentionally crafting a faithful, Christ-centered, Coram Deo lifestyle in which every decision and action is the overflow of their identity as a Cultivator, courageously stewarding their abilities, opportunities, obligations, and responsibilities for the good of others and the glory of God, enjoying God all the while.
Repentant sinners who have trusted Christ as their Lord and Savior should be obsessed with living for the good of others and God's glory. This means constantly analyzing how we spend our time and eliminating all things that get in the way of our obsession.
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.--Ephesians 5:15-16
How does the concept of Slow, Seasonal, Productive Obsession help you think about what it means to cultivate a Christ-centered lifestyle? Post your answer in the comments.